“None of it worked. When I pulled the executive team back together and asked what went wrong, these executives said, ‘You told us what to do. You never asked us what to do.
“What I should have done is just said, ‘I don’t know.’ And when you say those words, what happens is everybody wants to help you.”
That is how Josh D’Amaro, the newly named CEO of the Walt Disney Company, characterized his defining leadership development moment.
Sound familiar?
Every executive, at some point in their career, has faced this moment. The business is doing poorly, the future is uncertain, and everyone is looking to you for answers.
But few of us learn the lesson that Mr. D’Amaro did. So, we keep telling and wondering why compliance isn’t generating the results we expected.
Compliance and Buy-In are not the same
In our world of “using positive words to describe uncomfortable realities,” we often characterize compliance as buy-in. And that’s a dangerous mistake.
“Compliance,” explains innovation expert Tendayi Viki, “comes from external pressures to follow rules and policies due to fear of consequences. In contrast, buy-in comes from internal motivation where people genuinely view the initiative as valuable and legitimate.”
Compliance is what happened when D’Amaro convened the market and sales executives of Hong Kong Disneyland together and told them “to adjust, build, and set ourselves up for the future.”
When things are not going well and the future is uncertain (and therefore scary) it’s normal to think that, because you are in a role with authority, that you need to have all the answers. But you don’t. Because you can’t. Because no one has the answers.
You need help.
Why Buy-in, not compliance, is required for success
No one is going to help you when they’re afraid. Instead, they’re going to execute orders regardless of their own experiences or judgment, which may be more informed and likely to result in the desired outcome (as was the case with D’Amaro and his team).
But when you ask for help, people help. They feel ownership of both the problem and the solution and seek out creative ideas and alternatives. They work across traditional organizational boundaries, like functions and levels, and they’re more resilient when faced with adversity. Even better for you, they don’t require constant instruction, surveillance, and micromanagement.
Getting buy-in frees you up to do the very thing you want to do: lead a team to a common goal and better future.
Buy-in is NOT another Change Management initiative
I’m sorry to say that getting buy-in is much harder than running the standard Change Management playbook.
Change management gives leaders a structured playbook of communication plans, training schedules, governance milestones. It’s systematic, observable, and leader-driven. And it’s not wrong. It’s just not sufficient to gain buy-in.
Buy-in is individual, nonlinear, and rooted in belief, not process. It forms one person at a time based on trust, relevance, and whether the individual sees themselves in the future state. It happens when one human being trusts the motives and behaviors of another human being.
How to get Buy-In
Earning buy-in requires you to do what D’Amaro eventually learned: invite dissent, share incomplete thinking, and say “I don’t know.” But that’s just the beginning.
You also have to find where things are breaking down internally, the gaps that allowed the situation to grow ever more concerning and dire. And it’s rarely at the obvious boundaries between silos that everyone can see and org charts try to fix.
It’s at the seams: the hidden disconnects between people, decisions, handoffs, and incentives where functions, levels, and priorities intersect. These seams are where compliance lives and buy-in dies. And until you make them visible, you’ll keep mistaking one for the other. But they can be made visible and that changes everything.
Now that you see the difference, where is compliance masquerading as buy-in in your organization?